Onus of food crisis

The President of a leading country blamed India and China for the world food shortage the world could not dismiss the comments as inane ranting since it is an open secret that an army of researchers regularly spike his speeches with an equivalent force drafting his speech to the punctuation. My typical reaction of an accused being innocent was noticed by my superior at the magazine of health and I was assigned the task to investigate what his researchers had found.

The access to Fort Knox was upfront but locating this department was worse. I took the easy solution of the Internet and located from the blogs not only where the department was physically located but also the specifics of men and women who wrote the speeches. Thanking the power of the internet which once even gave details to build the Atomic Bomb, I started my virtual gastronomic debate.

To the team consisting of Susan the Statistician, Rice, the Economist and Davis Mellon the Marketing Strategist, I introduced the reality of more than half the Indian population remaining hungry. I had a whole portfolio of photos cut from American magazines depicting starving children as representation of the ‘third world’. ‘Pray how do you conclude these starving children whose ribs can even be counted, be considered as gluttonous villains?’ I asked the group in general. The annual meal of these children will not even equal to one day’s breakfast of your children I stated.

Statistician Susan said, ‘Your country defies all our principles of even mathematics. As your population grows, the middle class grows more than proportionately which confuses our statistical models’.

‘Perhaps the inflation pushes the members of the affluent group down to the middle class’ I sneered, which to my surprise provoked Susan to take notes studiously. ‘I still do not understand how increase in the middle class has created the crisis affecting the world’ I persisted.

Rice volunteered walking to the blackboard of the briefing room and drew a time line. ‘Around late seventies you threw all American companies out which we called the Coca Cola boot. Then in late nineties you accepted the World Trade Treaty and opened doors. Our companies invested millions to seduce your middle class’.

‘Why only the middle class?’ I queried volunteering half the explanation that 'perhaps the ones below poverty line may not be able to afford your Mac burgers but why were the affluent ignored?’

Susan shook her head and interjected, ‘Are you not aware that the class you are referring, are usually outside the country most of the time so they cannot buy in India when they are not in India!’ I was incredulous at missing the point while being amazed at the simple logic that had eluded all in India. ‘Can we come back to food crisis? I requested.

Rice explained how the multinationals applied the same economics of scale to reduce selling price. You know – ‘Mass production to get scale of economics. But this has to be instigated by large demand which is chanellised by advertising. So the companies went on the advertising spree targeting the middle class. The corporations diverted their American stock to India.’

Then there was silence as if someone in the room died. I braced for the punch line revealing how Indians were to blame for the food crisis. Mellon spoke for the first time with tremble in his voice which was surprising for his young age. ‘Despite the projections of the marketing pundits which were never off the mark in US of A, the forecasts of sales failed.’ This surprised even me since all our Indian management schools aped the Americans and horror of horrors if we are teaching our brats the wrong stuff. Mellon continued after regaining his breath as a person would do under duress ‘the post mortem study showed that the Indian middle class reacted differently than any person in other countries. They took to the burger and other products as a novelty but still preferred the unorganized sector of the vada pav.’

It took me 5 seconds to understand what he said to set me rolling on the floor. Newspapers had given me the impression that the Mumbai Vada Pav was just being introduced to Delhi but here, it had demolished a multinational onslaught! With tears in my eyes and controlling laughter I stuttered, ‘You mean the humble vada pav of Mumbai won the taste bud competition against the mighty Mac?’ ‘Precisely’ Mellon admonished me. ‘But I have yet not understood how this has led to word food crisis unless the vadas of Mumbai are made from Yankee potatoes’ I asked.

Rice took over to relieve the pressure off Mellon. ‘All the anticipation of work made the corporations divert their local American stock to India where it is now lying unused. Since shipping it back would increase the cost, that is out of the question. As the companies are now cash strapped, they are processing less food this year which has put less food in the market and thus the crisis. If only vada pav went out of fashion’ she concluded.

I was confused. How could the loss or collapse of just one or two food giants trigger the food crisis? Political correspondent Kissinger (no relation to an earlier stalwart by the same name) reminded me how the collapse of just two buildings triggered recession in America and then the whole world. By the same logic….I understood. Buildings and corporations of some countries are so huge that they make a global impact. ‘What will you do next?’ I asked, fearing that they might force us at gunpoint to eat the artery cloggers.

Mellon suddenly found energy and in a non-trembling voice regaled me, ‘We shall import a dozen vada pavwallas from various parts of Mumbai and develop an international dish with their help’. ‘And even copyright it under your name I presume’ I remarked. ‘Why not?’ was the predictable answer.