Chinese Checkers

‘It is easier to stand in the picket line than to be in the seat of responsibility to solve the issues of the picket line’ was a line that came to mind as I was excitedly voicing displeasure at the inability of my country to stave off the invasion by the Chinese forces.  When even my son so young in age had the rage to query what the Ministry was doing. While reading the news over the day, he noted that the jumps into our territory were akin to that of Chinese Checkers while the Indians were playing Western Chess. ‘If you have solved in the past complicated problems in the corporate arena, can you not do the same here?’ asked my son with such devotional eyes that I put down my financial paper and mused about the situation.  
   
I thought loudly, ‘The ministry does not want military confrontation, the people do not want diplomatic solution…mmm that puts me in quite a pickle.’ It is only now that I could appreciate not being in the front line to solve such issues. As I sipped on my tea (Indian not Chinese)  my brain began whirring. All the non military and non diplomatic solutions were just constraints and getting back our territory was the objective…. this was a basic LINEAR PROGRAMMING SOLUTION! All I had to do was to import ‘civilian success models’ into this issue and we had a home run! I starting working on a paper since I learnt to do it manually and not on computer and the solution was getting clearer by the second. The end solution was as follows:

Main objective: To get back the territory.
   
Sub objective1: Demolition of the Chinese tents. I really wonder why they were called tents when the material used looked solid and I would call them bunkers instead!

Solution to sub-objective1: Bring back Mr. Khairnar from retirement and send there a crack team of encroach demolition engineers who had worked with him. If he could demolish permanent structures in the


 








Sub objective2: Ensure that the Chinese do not come back build again. Here is where the Municipal corporation of Mumbai has faced a failing battle or is it a strategy I  am always confused. I just know that they cannot be part of solution of this sub-objective.
city, I am sure the ‘tents’ of the Chinese would be hot knife in butter. The Chinese would not know what hit them and how such a frail looking civilian could yield so much power!

Solution to sub-objective2: If the encroachers kept coming back in the city maybe I could use this to my advantage is what I thought. Commercial vendors have the habit like a bad penny – they come back. Their resilience amazes me though the result may not. Here is where I could use their strength by offer them vending space in the no-man’s land. Those vending clothes may cater to the likes of the female cadets in the Peoples Army of China and the pav Bhaji vendors may offer a hot meal satisfaction. Just like we have acquired a taste for Chinese food, the Chinese would find that spicy food also helps combat the cold in addition to the temperature of the food itself!
Additional advantage will be that the Indian soldiers and the Chinese would rub shoulders waiting in the rush to get the plate of ‘Pav Bhaji’ and this would increase comradeship thus pleasing the soul of our past PM who coined the phrase of ‘Hindi Chini bhai bhai’.

Sub objective3: To ensure we are using the right ‘sporting’ technique whether in the field of diplomacy or military strategy. Our Hon. Minister used a simile of Mohammed Ali who was the World heavy weight Champion on Boxing but that was ‘Western style’ boxing and not Chinese Boxing which is quite different. Before we finish dancing around to hit a left hook, the Chinese would have kicked our intestines and pulverized them to resemble mashed potatoes.  Just imagine two sparring guys with different category of Boxing. What is a penalty in one is permitted move in another. You will have chaos. Perhaps a more docile sport with full consent on rules of the game is better chosen.

Solution to sub-objective3: India has its own version of martial arts in Kerala. We can certainly pit our martial arts against Kung Fu and I have confidence in our sports persons and techniques. We can have matches like we have in cricket with Pakistan and let us enjoy them like war and yet no bullets be exchanged.
In the alternative, we also know the rules of the game of Chinese checkers! So a few strategist Indians can pit their wits against the Chinese wits.

I already had a three pronged strategy of a solution in just a few minutes by merely assuming this to be a commercial issue to be solved.