Loony Business
“This mission to moon is unparalled in the world” he boasted. I updated him of the effort of Russians and Americans way back in the sixties. He brushed aside the technical aspect of reaching the moon and examining its surface. He boasted, “This mission is not only profitable it is cash flow friendly”.
It was my turn to nearly faint hearing commercial language from a peon. So I inquired who funded this mission in advance. He whispered “Mission Mars had taken lots of material from the current mission so funds were needed. For this, our management performed tricks we call in slang JUGGAD” But he confessed he did not know the details. Just then, I was called in the cabin of the Director of the mission.
After receiving the mandatory photos and publicity material in hard copy as well on the pen drive, I jammed it disrespectfully in my bad reminding that I was there for an ‘exclusive’ material. When he feigned to disclose nothing more, I muttered, “I heard you got this mission sponsored by a person whose name stars with M” I gambled the sponsor to be Elon Musk. Shots in the dark work half the time was my experience. “Master Builder is just one of the sponsors” he appraised me. “Builder?” I was now perplexed. “What does he build? Something connected to your industry like rockets?”
“No silly, he builds commercial and residential buildings” came the confusing answer which unfolded after I came home.
A salesman took my appointment the next day early in the morning at home by merely ringing the bell. Courtesy demanded I invite him as he mentioned source of my name as the Space Agency. He appraised me of the Mission to moon while I yawned. Then he dropped the bomb. “We have monopoly of construction on the moon”. I was appalled at the news and sat down in preference to fainting on the floor. I was given to understand that in exchange for sponsorship, they were given status of monopoly of construction for the first ten years on the moon. He had a glossy brochure like builders have, which he recommended I show my wife also. I called her from inside only to regret as she first told the stranger that she was fed up living in rented (Leave and license) houses which had to be changed every 3 years and the restrictions of not hammering a single nail in the wall. The salesman pounced on this point offering in whisper a massive early bird discount of 30% which was unique in the construction industry. He offered “Earth view” plot with a futuristic construction design by well known earth based architect. Rotation of the moon and earth was a point that escaped me as I did not pay much attention to the subject of Geography in school. He took a large sum as token booking amount before leaving.
The front door did not close as another man was there about to press the bell. He introduced himself again as reference from the Space Agency I had visited the day earlier. Both the salesmen nodded to each other as if exchanging a secret gesture. The latest guy announced his service which interested my wife more. He declared there would be limited entertainment on the moon in initial years so his cable company offered direct broadcast using their existing satellites to make it cheaper for us. It seems signals would be relayed in both directions – towards earth and towards moon he explained as if it was a box which had to be opened with one more hole on the side facing the moon. “Madam you can remain uptodate with the family serials of the earth at the same time your earthy friends”. Of course, being a sponsor, his company had monopoly to send signals to the moon. My cheque book was already open to pacify my excited wife and her pleas of “what will I do when you are working?”.
While I was signing the cheque another man sauntered in. This fellow was more organized. He was in a smart marketing uniform with the logo of the company embroidered on his light blue shirt. He handed me his visiting card with a fancy logo of earth and moon calling themselves SHIT Communications. I laughed asking why they were demeaning themselves or was this the prediction of their service quality. He lectured me it was an acronym of Stay Heavenly In Touch. Heaven was symbolic of area beyond earth as the company is hoping to snare contracts for other planets also in the future. “You will be able to stay in touch with your friends and relatives on earth as well as on the moon with our sim card” he explained. “My Mom and sisters” squealed my wife in the background. I did not see where she was but only where my pen and chequebook was.
Before he left, the bell rang again. While I was telling my wife not to open the door, she did.
Now I got a call on my phone as I had switched off my door bell. It was the last salesman from Chaand Airways. He said, “Sir, you wrote the wrong date on the cheque.” I feigned ignorance. “He stated it was 10 years post dated perhaps winning a world record for post dating a cheque. “I educated him, “After few of you looted me, I have become wiser. You revealed your airline will have its first flight 10 years from today. So why should I pay you before that?” I was getting smarter…. A bit late.
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