Pow in the Pav

“Dad, did you have Vada Pav when you were young?” asked my son one morning. Reminiscing my school days, I recalled that ragda patties and sandwiches was all that the canteen sold. My college was so small that a solitary canteen was shared with 2 others and being in the morning college, one never had time even for tea. But Vada Pav? I never heard about it till the mills shut down in Mumbai after which the out-of-job mill workers set up such stalls with wheels to retail the vadas vada mash prepared by their wives at home and fried hot in the street. But now, realizing that the innocuous question was merely to ask for a raise in allowance I graciously reached for my wallet saying, ‘It is all right to eat a pizza once a while’. Shaking his head he actually refused the raise (lucky me?)saying that he never visited the canteen anyway in interest of hygiene so the allowance was more than sufficient. What he was referring was to the Vada Pav as a political strategy of the Marathi Manoos.

The tube light in my head flickered to its brightness as I realized that the local political party which began in the early sixties on the platform of protecting the Marathi Manoos often had its thunder stolen by its break-away fraction. But this time a non-political party stole its thunder. I voiced my remark, ‘Must be very un-nerving for the party to gets its thunder/roar stolen so often today’. ‘Like any other corporate strategy what should the party do for a turnaround?’ son now needled the strategist in me.

“We all know that the best route to a man’s heart is through his stomach whether it is food itself or earning for the food (bhoomiputra reservation).” I began the foundation of my thought process as my son sat cross-legged on the carpet knowing his old man’s rambling would last a long time. “Concentrating on the digestive area” I sounded more like a medical professor, “one has to develop a two pronged approach. Since each Vada Pav has hot chutney containing chillies, perhaps different versions of end products known by the source of chillies should be developed to add variety like Kolhapuri, Solapuri, Puneri etc. Vada Pav.” My son perked up, “To add variety to the monotonous fare”. “Yes” I continued, “including one extreme variety which guarantees to clean out the stomach by the next morning. This can perhaps be marketed even by the Chemists under the name of ‘SC Vada Pav’ – no connection to Scheduled Caste but to stand for Stomach Clearance.” Laughing, my son countered “But Dad, most Vada Pavs would qualify for that name as they already evoke the same reaction.”

Ignoring this remark, I continued, “The Marathi Manoos party has to set up Vada Pav centres at a distance not exceeding 10 meters from each other so that any hungry person will not even think of going far to the nearest Mc Donald or Udipis since they are run by persons originating from outside the state. The cost of establishment will be low as all the stalls will be licensed encroachments on the pavements for pedestrians whose interest anyway has no weight with the authorities. Just imagine Fountain area and Nariman Point lined with Vada Pav Centres. I can envisage the tourists clicking away as this would have no parallel in the world.” My son summarized, “The advertisement on each stall will ensure the party a win in every election and this would be revenue generative. As you mentioned that each international city has a distinctive smell, this is perhaps just what Mumbai needs – a distinctive smell of Vada being fried”.

“Do not forget the employment generation here” I pointed out proudly. “Yes” admitted my son, “even the doctors, whether General Practitioners or Specialists will find more patients lining up.” This froze me, leaving me totally flustered. He pacified me explaining, “Excessive acidity would be addressed by the General Practitioner, while the serious cases of Stomach lining erosion due to the chillies would be taken care by a specialist like may be an Oncologist.” I was open mouthed as he continued, “The vada induced cholesterol will generate increased business for the Cardiologists and Cardiac Surgeons. Even the use of surgical consumables will rise leading to all round employment increase in business and employment of companies manufacturing stents, Heart lung machines, their tubings, post surgery medicine …” he rambled on an on and got more excited as he concluded, “WE HAVE DISCOVERED THE ONLY WAY OUT OFF THE CURRENT RECESSION – SET UP VADA PAV STALLS.” I couldn’t agree more. Are the G-20 members and World Bank listening?