Oops I did a CORUS

‘In hindsight, any person would have discovered India’ (America) is what Columbus was reputed to retort his critics who felt the lavish recognition bestowed upon him by the royalty for discovery of the new land was excessive. In today’s corporate adventurous journey of growth where very often we take the road less travelled or even walk where there is no path, the thrill of an explorer remains the same. Unfortunately, also similar is the attitude of the critics sitting on a picket fence not doing anything more than watching others fall, to give them an opportunity to mouth a venomous comment.

‘What will be the impact of this mistake of investment?’ my son asked referring to the front page headline. ‘With 30 to 40 thousand employees working in that company and thousands more in the support industry, the impact is more than just financial.’ I answered. ‘I remember you saying that when a smaller company takes over a larger company, it is trying to swallow more than it can chew’ my son surprisingly recalled my conversation in verbatim. ‘It is the British legacy of using phrases and idioms that distinguish us from other colonial cousins’ I reminded him. ‘Perhaps the origin of idioms and phrases was to ensure that we learnt from the mistakes of others’ I mused aloud. My son laughed, ‘However, I did show you some phrases which advice conflicting actions’. I smiled at the endeavor of man to search for those 10 or 100 or even 10,000 commandments of success. All theories in all disciplines whether it be management or mathematics, fashion or fitness, try to develop some rules which if followed, assure you success. Since nearly all of us do not achieve that, one of the conflicting rule is picked up by the critics as the one not followed by us, thus leading to lack of success.

‘Is dis-investment also an admission of wrong decision?’ my son asked reflecting his study of economics for the year. Many companies sell off divisions where they had diversified and not found success. ‘Oh you mean like the time the famous soap making company was booted out off their shoe-upper making division?’ he asked. ‘Or like the time a liquor manufacturer fell on his face marketing apple juice under the mistaken belief that both are liquids to be drunk and both have roughly the same colour!’ I continued in jest. ‘Should we then term all mistakes under the phrase, I DID A CORUS?’ queried my son. As usual, in our conversations, he evokes utterance of sheer confusion from me, so I gave in and said, ‘Huh?’ He educated me, ‘Webster Dictionary has recognized Google as a verb and the communication of I have googled you and not found anything relevant would mean that search of your name on the internet has not resulted in anything relevant for our present needs.’ ‘Oh so you want this new phrase to be brought into our Lingo?’ I was beginning to see the light.

We sat down and started thinking how we could use this new phrase. After all, it is the in thing to use the latest lingo - kind of a new abbreviation which only a closely knit group is aware of. ‘The Government did a Corus on most public sector investments’ reminded my son of the popularly known aspect of dis-investment in India. While ‘Google’ was recognized just as a verb, I feel that CORUS can be used as a verb, noun, adjective - anything.

Let us now foresee some situations and how the ‘phrase’ can be used.

Situation: Every married man.
What can be said: Oops I proposed a CORUS.

Situation: Each time a married man is caught with his secretary by his wife.
What can be said: Oops I dictated (pun on the pronunciation) a CORUS.

Situation: When you criticize a presentation to realize later that it was earlier praised by his boss. What can be said: Oops I blurted a CORUS.

Situation: When a man realizes too late that his fancy car is heavy on maintenance when the mechanic charges Rs. 1000 to just open the bonnet.
What can be said: Oops I am driving a CORUS. (not to be confused with similar sounding and spelt brand of any car)

Situation: When the husband has approved custom made jewellery which the wife does not like.
What can be said: Oops I approved a CORUS.

Situation: When the Romeo realizes that he could have romanced the younger sister instead of the less beautiful elder one.
What can be said: Oops I romanced the CORUS.

Situation: When sisters-in-law go to purchase sarees, each one feels the other’s choice was better.
What can be said: Oops I selected a CORUS.

Situation: You went into the software industry as it was paying astronomical salary…….. only until you graduated
What can be said: Oops I trained in a CORUS

Situation: You invest in a shop on a highway and within a month a new expressway by passes your section of the road.
What can be said: Oops I located in CORUS.

Situation: When the American soldiers accidentally fire on British Troops in Iraq
What can be said: Oops we triggered a CORUS.

Situation: American troops caught on tape torturing prisoners of war
What can be said: Oops we whipped a CORUS.

And of course the inevitable use of the phrase…………………
Situation: When any man invests in any share at the peak after which the market plummets
What can be said: Oops I purchased CORUS

When a leading industrialist having an army of professionals still commits a mistake, small people like us should also be forgiven. Perhaps by using the phrase we shall be reminding them why we should be forgiven!