Question of Allowances

‘Every time you do accounts, it gives me tension’ declared my son. ‘For a person who is a Chartered Accountant, doing accounts related work is part of the profession so you will have quite a tension to live my son’ I explained to him the bare fact. ‘I am worried how much I will have to earn once I start, ….. to pay you back’ he wailed. Surprised at his narrow interpretation of my fatherhood, I opened my mouth to lecture him that I was not his moneylender each time I spent on his college and textbooks when he pointed at the news item where a son repaid his father for expenses incurred for rearing him. ‘It is just a tax avoidance action which you may have failed to read that such a tactic was disallowed’ I dismissed. However, he made the comment of studied insight, ‘This allowance may have been rejected, but it will spawn numerous more attempts and some will have to eventually pass the strict interpretation of Income Tax authorities.’ I had to admit, that statistically speaking, some of the fired salvos of the future would penetrate the defenses. That made me muse on the possible allowances and approach to devising allowances as expenditure.

* Meritorious allowance (for going beyond the call of duty): Normally given to certain personal secretaries, also given to understudy or apprentices following the footsteps of Monica Lewenski.

* Married man’s bachelor allowance: Definitely to be given to those married men who are sent away from their homes for more than a week on official work. This allowance is meant to be spent on cost of compensation paid to third party for work normally done by the absent spouse.
* Top Management Tension reduction allowance: It is well known that the top management of all companies takes the risk of decisions. This creates tension and to unwind, they have to go beyond the country club and golf course. Visits to exotic countries and nightclubs with liters of alcohol to soothe the nerves are the intension of such allowances, thus enabling them to carry on the good work for the benefit of the company.

* Honesty allowance: This allowance is to make a level playing field in certain administrative departments especially of the Government where certain postings have no potential of ‘extra’ earnings. Since honesty is enforced by the posting itself, such an allowance will keep the employee happy and no official would mind being posted from the airport to any other area as the allowance shall compensate!