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‘Your generation was really a labour intensive one’ remarked my son after reading the financial paper. There was a time when I was proud that he began reading financial papers while his classmates did not even know what paper was subscribed in their house. But now after hearing his remarks, I was beginning to have my doubts on my pride. In explanation to his remark he elaborated, ‘To compare the standard of living between countries your generation calculated a basket of food cost in each country and made your conclusion’. ‘Today, we have just one dish – a burger and we arrive at a conclusion so fast’. I had read that news and it did have me seething with frustration as to how such a single dish so predominantly American could be a worldwide index and that too of currency! I distinctly remember the first 50 years of independence when any American asked if Big Mac was available, I proudly replied that we had such an Indian alternative that Big Mac would not find any place here. But history had no place for a small Indian’s Pride. When I asked my friends in the currency market how the Big Mac achieved such a status, each of them laughed so much that tears were rolling down their cheeks. I really did not know if they were laughing at the concept of this index or my ignorance. So I did some calls and got myself an appointment with the magazine which had done the survey using Burgernomics.

‘You look older than a Management Finance student on summer training’ spoke the head of the Economics Desk of the Magazine. I introduced myself as an old student re-learning basic economics. He guffawed; confirming that economic theories radically changed every two decades. ‘All I want to know how Big-Mac achieved the status of an index’ I went straight to the point. ‘I can explain this easily’ he smiled. ‘We used to spend so much time gathering the prices of food-basket in each country that by the time we concluded, the prices had changed. So, instead of 16 items in the basket, we all agreed to have one and being a large multinational…’ He trailed off explaining how the MIS report of just one corporate was food for their research which could be concluded over a weekend.

‘Did you not consider the single product index has its disadvantages that may mislead you?’ I asked in genuine concern. With a wave of flourish of his left hand he dismissed my concern quoting ‘cost of perfect information’, implying that his exercise would not be too off the mark. Now I had to jitter him. ‘India is not a beef eating country so you do not have the Big-Mac. But your substitute of Maharaja Burger also may not be correct.’ Now his sleepy eyes opened. ‘What do you mean?’ he was angry. ‘Even a non-veg like me does not prefer the Maharaja Burger as it tastes too much of potatoes while I am charged for the non-existent meat’. I explained. ‘I would rather eat the Vada Pav as millions others do’ I dropped the bomb. ‘It is an Indian answer to the burger’ I tried to explain. He was flustered. ‘But … but everything inside the bread is dry while burger has the Mayo..’ I shook my head like a parent, ‘Are we speaking of food taste or index which should be more representative?’ I explained further, ‘While the Maharaja Burger costs $1.62, the vada pav costs 25 cents, making our currency more undervalued than that reported by you.’ Now I had him in my grip as he was visibly sweating.

‘What … what should we do the next time? Monitor Vada Pav for India?’ he asked my help. ‘If popular Indian snack is what you are searching for, then you should have picked the bhel’ I was leading him on the road of confusion. ‘The chutney messes my stomach’ he said like a true non-Indian. ‘Are you not interested that the daily consumption of this light snack is more than 5.7 tons in India? It also generates employment for 27,000 persons. With such impressive figures, this light snack deserves heavy attention is what I feel. I dropped the anchor in his port of regret. With his head in his hands, he groaned at the prospect of re-calculation. ‘What will you do for the choice of snacks in other Asian countries?’ I needled him. He looked aghast. ‘Burgers are not eaten popularly in many countries’ I explained introducing him to the really popular snacks in those countries.

I admitted to him that Japan is a country really difficult to understand. Even Fritto Lays did not make any sale there until they introduced Squid flavoured wafers. So, he would need an expert on Japan if some snack had to be selected.

‘Why did you not choose another multinational like coca cola instead?’ I asked innocently. With head reeling he tried to focus on my face ‘Uh’ is all he managed to say. ‘But even there you may perhaps have been mis-led in India itself.’ I continued. ‘Here, the Ice Gola is more popular and believe me, a whole lot cheaper.’ Now I had him almost prostrate touching my feet nearly calling me Guru. ‘What do you suggest we should have done?’ he asked my advice.

‘I think you should have called an expert on food. If you had watched the right channel, you would have found one Mr. Andrew Zimmerman who eats the local exotic food. From Mongolia to the interiors of Amazon forest, he eats the exotic and bizarre. He is more suited to advice you.’ I left with this advice knowing fully well that the next survey would do away with burgernomics at least. Would they then call it ‘Zimmernomics’ or would they call it ‘Bizzarenomics’? Now that would surely put a TV host in the Economics Textbooks for the next generation.