Better describing Rupee value

‘Fall, Freefall, Slide ….. all terms are from sports so what are these terms doing in the world of finance or economics? Is the economics dictionary economically small to add a few verbs to better describe value of a currency?’ asked my son in these days of currency freefall. I quickly grabbed my hot cup of tea and sipped it slowly trying to think how terms of para-trooping and car drifting were used to report fall in currency. Slide of cars causes squealing tyres and this was screeching in my head so I replied, ‘Why invent the tyre, sorry wheel again when there are terms from extreme sports which are coined after so much effort and can be implanted here.’ ‘But Dad’ he countered, the limits of the terms from sports are already set, or the features are implicit and there is clear understanding which is not adhered when implanted in economic’. ‘Huh?’ I went as I was not a sports buff.

He tried to explain, ‘In a free fall, the person opens his parachute at levels to permit safe landing while in a currency, where is the parachute? In a car slide, the moment traction is regained by the car, the slide stops and car continues in the straight direction. Where are the tyres here?’ Suddenly the onus was on me to justify the import of terms from arena of sports to arena of economic. ‘Maybe only some aspect of the action only is meant to be illustrated’ I meekly defended the use of terms.

Now he wanted to include new terms from sports as a better description of the fall in the value of the Rupee. He described them in the typical school format of using idioms. BELOW THE BELT: This is a foul in Boxing. But this is the impact on all of us as the food gets costlier and our stomachs are hit by the inflation which is the direct impact of fall in value of Rupee.

PILE DRIVER: A wrestling move where one wrestler picks up the other upside down and bangs his head on the floor of the ring. This is expected to knock him out. When the currency value falls so much all of us are knocked out and cannot think what reaction to take. So we just have to ‘give up’.

Example: The actions taken by USA to prop up their internal economy by withdrawal of investment is a pile driver move on India.

Pile up: This is a term from track racing where many cars hit each other and become immobilized. When many currencies take a hit in their respective values, all are in the same boat (track) and hence are in the same pile up!

Example: Currently, India, Indonesia, South Africa, Brazil are in a currency devaluation PILEUP.Dropped cylinder: This is a term from Drag Racing when a cylinder runs too rich (too much fuel in the air/fuel mixture) and prevents the spark plug(s) from firing.

Example: The market intervention by RBI over the past few days was a dropped cylinder as it could not stop the slide in the value of the Rupee. (even though the rich mixture of funds were thrown into the open market)

I had to agree that the new terms are better descriptive. Are the journalists and economists listening? 

end of blog

Chinese Checkers

‘It is easier to stand in the picket line than to be in the seat of responsibility to solve the issues of the picket line’ was a line that came to mind as I was excitedly voicing displeasure at the inability of my country to stave off the invasion by the Chinese forces.  When even my son so young in age had the rage to query what the Ministry was doing. While reading the news over the day, he noted that the jumps into our territory were akin to that of Chinese Checkers while the Indians were playing Western Chess. ‘If you have solved in the past complicated problems in the corporate arena, can you not do the same here?’ asked my son with such devotional eyes that I put down my financial paper and mused about the situation.  
   
I thought loudly, ‘The ministry does not want military confrontation, the people do not want diplomatic solution…mmm that puts me in quite a pickle.’ It is only now that I could appreciate not being in the front line to solve such issues. As I sipped on my tea (Indian not Chinese)  my brain began whirring. All the non military and non diplomatic solutions were just constraints and getting back our territory was the objective…. this was a basic LINEAR PROGRAMMING SOLUTION! All I had to do was to import ‘civilian success models’ into this issue and we had a home run! I starting working on a paper since I learnt to do it manually and not on computer and the solution was getting clearer by the second. The end solution was as follows:

Main objective: To get back the territory.
   
Sub objective1: Demolition of the Chinese tents. I really wonder why they were called tents when the material used looked solid and I would call them bunkers instead!

Solution to sub-objective1: Bring back Mr. Khairnar from retirement and send there a crack team of encroach demolition engineers who had worked with him. If he could demolish permanent structures in the


 








Sub objective2: Ensure that the Chinese do not come back build again. Here is where the Municipal corporation of Mumbai has faced a failing battle or is it a strategy I  am always confused. I just know that they cannot be part of solution of this sub-objective.
city, I am sure the ‘tents’ of the Chinese would be hot knife in butter. The Chinese would not know what hit them and how such a frail looking civilian could yield so much power!

Solution to sub-objective2: If the encroachers kept coming back in the city maybe I could use this to my advantage is what I thought. Commercial vendors have the habit like a bad penny – they come back. Their resilience amazes me though the result may not. Here is where I could use their strength by offer them vending space in the no-man’s land. Those vending clothes may cater to the likes of the female cadets in the Peoples Army of China and the pav Bhaji vendors may offer a hot meal satisfaction. Just like we have acquired a taste for Chinese food, the Chinese would find that spicy food also helps combat the cold in addition to the temperature of the food itself!
Additional advantage will be that the Indian soldiers and the Chinese would rub shoulders waiting in the rush to get the plate of ‘Pav Bhaji’ and this would increase comradeship thus pleasing the soul of our past PM who coined the phrase of ‘Hindi Chini bhai bhai’.

Sub objective3: To ensure we are using the right ‘sporting’ technique whether in the field of diplomacy or military strategy. Our Hon. Minister used a simile of Mohammed Ali who was the World heavy weight Champion on Boxing but that was ‘Western style’ boxing and not Chinese Boxing which is quite different. Before we finish dancing around to hit a left hook, the Chinese would have kicked our intestines and pulverized them to resemble mashed potatoes.  Just imagine two sparring guys with different category of Boxing. What is a penalty in one is permitted move in another. You will have chaos. Perhaps a more docile sport with full consent on rules of the game is better chosen.

Solution to sub-objective3: India has its own version of martial arts in Kerala. We can certainly pit our martial arts against Kung Fu and I have confidence in our sports persons and techniques. We can have matches like we have in cricket with Pakistan and let us enjoy them like war and yet no bullets be exchanged.
In the alternative, we also know the rules of the game of Chinese checkers! So a few strategist Indians can pit their wits against the Chinese wits.

I already had a three pronged strategy of a solution in just a few minutes by merely assuming this to be a commercial issue to be solved.

Virtual Factory

‘What is the difference between virtual business and e-business?’ quipped my son as I was reading the morning paper. Peering over my reading glasses I tried to doge a frontal incident by saying, ‘Isn’t this what you should know as a Computer student under the topic of E-commerce?’ ‘With the lay persons using the terms inter-changeably, now even I am getting confused’ he answered.  I mused, now the Banks on the Internet were called E-Banks weren’t they? Or were they called virtual Banks? Now even I was confused. So I sat up and tried to dissect the term along with satisfying my curiosity as to why my son brought up the topic in the first place.

Let me see, the games that one played where they had a lot of graphics and you wore specs/goggles so that you saw virtual worlds which you entered! AH ha, so fictitious worlds were virtual worlds. But wait a minute. In my last systems audit, the client had used less servers by balancing load between servers by a solution called ‘virtualisation’ and believe me that was very much real and not a fiction as I saw the benefits and what went into it. So I had two interpretations of virtual – real and not real. This put me very much back in square 1 of the game.

My son broke my chain of thoughts ‘Do virtual businesses deliver real solid cash or goods?’ I had an answer for this, ‘On your last birthday did we not shop in the virtual electronic market and order a digital camera for you?’

Now came the bomb based on the news of the day ‘If virtual shops deliver solid goods, then why can’t virtual factories deliver solid chocolates?’ he asked innocently. I had read the news so I could clear some points is what I wrongly thought. ‘It is a matter of tax holiday based on a real factory and not virtual’ I cleared the point. ‘But’ he pestered, ‘what difference does it make if new factory is running there or old? They did come earlier to the improvement of infrastructure’. While I paused, his younger brain clicked at a higher clock speed as it connected dots in the past to an event known as ‘Satyam’.  He recalled that in that case only the sales and whole lot of employees were imaginary which would be called as ‘virtual’ today. But in the present case, a whole factory was fictitious. That gave higher potential of whole gamut of capital and revenue expenses and even sales revenue to be just a figment of imagination.  ‘If the number of manipulated records becomes the criteria, is this case bigger than Satyam?’ he asked. I was not a record keeper of such sorts so I expressed ignorance. But I did remember a news item where the jailor wanted to run a business earning income for the Jail by involving the Satyam kingpin. So I could now explain that ‘Perhaps the same jailor made ex-chairman of Satyam give consultancy to Cadbury so the record if any still belongs to Satyam’.

Meanwhile, I mused, if there is a virtual company will they have to appoint a virtual auditor and if so, how will he be paid? Virtually?

End of all other Statutes

Indian culture of destiny acceptance was always frowned upon by me as an act of lethargy camouflage.  I had to roll back my thoughts after an event which thrust me in the forefront due to acts other than my own. A politician died. A girl posted remarks on the social network. She was arrested by the police. A magistrate exposed the charges as wrong. A student challenged Section 66A of the Information Technology Act.(hereinafter known as IT Act)  This was all in the year 2012. Now here is where I come in for something I did in December 2000. I had written a book entitled ‘Guide to Information Technology Act 2000. It was sold out in two months to professionals as well as students.

‘Since I have used your book very often to lecture my fellow advocates, I thought of you’ said one Magistrate over the phone. The half hour conversation was summarized in my head that there were so many cases filed under the IT Act would need 27 years to clear assuming no more are filed in future. Suddenly a statute relegated to student’s curriculum and library only became a front runner. They expected me to provide them a ‘fast-track’ solution for this since I was the only author-consultant combination in the field of Information Technology! This is when I contemplated my view on Destiny. Did I suddenly become the Hero problem solver or a grass eating scapegoat?


I told the Magistrate ‘I need to know just one point, how did the cases under this statute pile up? I expected perhaps two low profile cases for every high profile one and at this rate from the year 2000 there should have been not more than a dozen.’ The man on the other end of the line laughed ‘All cases are under this statute only.’ I was dumbfounded. He promised to email me the list of cases ‘on the Board’ of that day with some additional details to permit me to understand the situation.


Note from author: The following cases are purposely ridiculous to show how provisions of a statute can be twisted. Though the case may be thrown out, it causes distress to the charged persons. The cases could have been better made under other statutes.


The following list was emailed to me. Names of the parties are hidden.

Case under: section 43 a of the IT Act.
Case of: Multinational Company vs. Software application provider
Section in brief: Unauthorised Access.
Case in brief: A junior in the payroll section did not have access to Top management files but he could view them and when Union negotiations came to table, he tabled some embarrassing findings such as ‘entertainment allowances’ paid to some attractive persons working under the top management. Since the accidental access was granted by a bug in the software,  the company who coded the software was sued.

Case under: section 43 b of the IT Act.
Case of: A Company vs. Hardware server (Computer server)
Section in brief: Downloading data without permission
Case in brief: Disaster recovery centre was to be opened by a VIP. Upon his pressing of a button the data from other city miles away was to be backed up. However nothing happened after he pressed the proverbial button. After a cursory glance it was reported that since the server had already backed up the data it would not do it again. Since no permission was granted to the server to download data before the VIP had opened the facility, the hardware (server) was sued. The server machine (!) was not re-presented by a Lawyer so the court had to provide one – after all, rules of the court need to be followed.

Case under: section 43 c of the IT Act.
Case of: Shopping Mall vs. Customers with cold (Names of the parties are hidden)
Section in brief: Introduces virus
Case in brief: A customer with severe and infectious cold went shopping in a mall. As he handed over cash he also handed over his virus. Many cashiers manning the computers, immediately fell sick. Since computer users were affected by the customer induced virus, they could not use the allocated computer to perform their allotted duty. Hence the customer was arrested.

Case under: section 43 d of the IT Act.
Case of: Retail Shop vs. Unidentified rioters (Names of the parties are hidden)
Section in brief: Damages, computer, software or data
Case in brief: Riots had broken out and before the party could down its shutters, a stone crashed through the display window and hit the computer which had stock and sales data. Since the computer repair person said it would take two days to repair the computer, the shop was forced to close down as stock and rates were all bar coded. (Other Indian Penal Code or Criminal provision was not used) As all the elements mentioned in the section were damaged, viz. computer, software and data,  the company felt this was the most appropriate section to charge under!

Case under:   section 43 e of the IT Act
Case of:  A large company vs. Local electrician
Section in brief:   disrupts or causes disruption of any computer, computer system or computer network
Case in brief: In a newly constructed building, a company was one of the few early occupants. In one office, some electrical work was in progress and the electrician started a machine needing high voltage. It tripped the electricity in the entire building. Since the work of this company was ‘disrupted’, they made a case against the electrician!

Case under:   section 43 f of the IT Act
Case of:  Employee of a company vs. Security guard of that same company
Section in brief:   denies or causes the denial of access to any person authorized to access any computer system or computer network by any means
Case in brief: As per the instructions to the security, the guard stopped an employee without Identity card. Since he was a computer user who lost one day leave/salary, he sued the guard for preventing him from using his computer! (he was posted in the mail room and not any important position) 

Additional case u/s 43f

Case under:   section 43 f of the IT Act
Case of:  A company vs. State Electricity Board
Section in brief:   denies or causes the denial of access to any person authorized to access any computer system or computer network by any means
Case in brief: Though it was usual to accept power outages periodically other than on pre-determined day of the week in most parts of India, a company which got fed up with the lack of service, decided to sue the Board on the grounds that their employees were denied access to their computer since there was no power and only the State Electricity Board was responsible for denial of power and eventually, denial of access to the computer!

Case under:   section 43 g of the IT Act
Case of:  Govt. vs. Network service provider
Section in brief:   provides any assistance to any person to facilitate access to a computer in contravention of the provisions of the IT Act
Case in brief: A network service provider followed all KYC rules before connecting a subscriber who then hacked into various Government Websites. Even before he was charged, the service provider was charged because without the assistance of the network service provider, the hacker would not have had internet access in the first place!

I reported to the magistrate that during the passage of this Act, 5 other Acts were simultaneous amended which started a trend. The emphasis is on the word amendment which is not ‘replacement’. The cases show that the accusers have ‘replaced’ other Acts by IT Act.

Now don’t you feel that sections other than section 66A need review?

Swiss issue over Bank Accounts

When my son returned from school, he was pretty upset. Sensitive issues were conveniently dropped in my lap on the argument of it being a ‘man to man’ resolvable issue although his age was still in single digit. After delicate probing it transpired that all his classmates who until that day respected him were now making fun of him and it seems I was the cause. I mused, I had ensured his school was not for the elite  where the cars would have been in the unaffordable range for me. Now what did I do or not do to reflect on the social standing for my son? He made it stark clear in a direct way only children can. ‘I told my friends you have banks as clients and so you can open accounts in many many Banks.’ He was right. Being a consultant to Banks, I used to open business accounts in those Banks to get my fees fast by direct transfer. ‘You have accounts in Nationalised Banks, Private sector Banks and even co-operative Banks but not a single one in a Swiss Bank like some other Indian Uncles.’ he cried. I did not imagine that this sociopolitical issue would result in a prestige issue.

‘Son, did you realize that the Swiss account holders mentioned in the news are those with black money? I am a grandson of a Judge so law abiding actions are automatic for us.’ I did not tire him with the concept of Tax Deducted at Source (TDS) which ensured I followed the law. ‘Tell your clients to give you money soiled in coal so you too have black money’ came the innocent reply. I could not help but smile but felt sad that now having black money was an important social status than any other legitimate one like social leader or even sacrifice for the country.

‘Are Swiss Banks only for those who do not follow the law?’ he asked. Given the kind of publicity and their penchant of secrecy, more law offenders were their account holders but the Banks were genuine Banks is what I told him. I brought him uptodate that the policy change of secrecy is what resulted in the names of account holders being released. ‘If the amount is brought into India then will the flight of deposits of the Bank upset the balance of the Bank and make it sick?’ he asked in genuine concern. I replied, ‘Possibly’ as I imagined the Bank Chairman of a Swiss Bank trying hard to convince his authorities that he or rather his Bank was healthy. Perhaps in the history of the country a Bank may have to put up with this kind of test. I wonder what it may do to their currency later.

‘So, when are you opening an account in the Swiss Bank?’ he did not let go. ‘Why don’t I get you a Swiss chocolate instead and you drop the topic?’ I tried to bribe his silence. Once he said Okay, I jumped to get out of the door for the chocolate. As I reached for the door, he said, ‘Err Dad, can you get 40 pieces?’ I was aghast.’ 40 pieces will make you sick’. ‘Not for me Dad, for the whole class. I can tell you went to open an account and the Bank gave you chocolates as account opening gift and they will all keep quiet.’

Made Value, Attracted Tax (MVAT)

 ‘How big is your shirt pocked?’ asked the voice on the line before even either of us could say hello. For one second I thought my tailor had gone mad asking me what he is supposed to know. Then I recognized the voice of my friend who wanted to buy a house in my area from the same builder. ‘Do you want dimensions in inches or centimeters?’ I had accepted his quirkiness over time. ‘No.’ he almost shouted. ‘How much cash you cram in your shirt pocket?’ I was puzzled. In this day of plastic money and e-money, my friend was asking how much cash I can carry? ‘Maybe a hundred in tens or five hundred in hundreds’ I meekly tried to hide the allowance of conveyance my wife permits me. ‘That is exactly what I told the blokes sent by the builder. They are asking me to payRs.9.58 lacs for a flat I purchased in 2009. You think I carry that much cash in my pocket? is what I told them.’ I wondered, ‘It took him so long to realize he undercharged you or is he trying to fleece you now regretting he did not do it in 2009?’ I asked. ‘MVAT’ came the reply that shattered all suspicions to clear the picture. I pacified him by assuring to visit the builder’s office in the next hour because the ‘blokes’ of the builder were refusing to budge without the cash.

Anticipating our argument the builder slid a laminated copy of a news report stating that the VAT had to be paid. While I peered through my thick specs for a an answer in the news report, the builder started crying. ‘All I do is arrange the bricks in a manner that gives privacy and security so where did I create value? Perhaps I created profit for myself but definitely not value’ I knew he was just trying to distract an intelligent study when the solution struck me. ‘It does not say the buyer has to pay for it’. I threw the laminated paper on his desk and almost said, ‘ I rest my case’. Now even my friend’s brain was in overdrive. ‘Even I was not the first buyer and took it just at the time of completion from an investor so he must pay and not me.’ Now even I was amazed at this and looked at my friend with pride!

While we postponed the payment to a future date of a meeting of the residents of my friend’s building, I wondered what to anticipate if VAT was to be levied on principle of  value creation. I remembered by first year of college when we were introduced to time, place and form value. Based on this, the picture was so horrific that I would have to triple or quadruple my income to just retain my middle class standard of living. You can surely expect in future the following to be covered under VAT. It may be outlandish but so was the VAT on builders!

VAT on Bank Deposits : Because value is added directly to the deposit over time.

On vegetable vendor: Because vendor gives place value – bringing produce from farm to your house.

On Beauty Parlor: For adding beauty value to my wife. (Service tax which is currently levied will be replaced by VAT)

On salary: Since salary adds value to your style of living.

On your daily Newspaper: Because it adds value to your awareness.

On your haircut: Because it adds value to neatness of your head.

On Schools/Colleges etc.: Because it adds market value to your child by increasing his/her earning capacity. (service tax if any will be removed to prevent double taxation)

On every employed person/self employed: Because they add value to society by their work. (Criminals also included because it is due to them that the law enforcers have value) Effectively, the ‘profession tax’ now confined to Maharashtra will be all India.

And finally

On every parent: Who put values and culture in their child to add value as a member of society.

Politicians will be spared: Not because of being in position but because, what value do they create?

Problem Variable

I wrongly thought it to be just a boring beginning of the year partner’s weekly  meeting in the CA firm, when most staff was busy at audit sites which assured just procedural problem solving not demanding much cerebral effort. Imagine the jolt I received when I saw more than a dozen partner’s faces glaring at me as if I had committed a blunder to dissolve the firm. Frankly, the post lunch session had a drowzy effect and I had not paid much attention to the topic under discussion even though it was heated which I had dismissed as some people having a habit of making mountains out of molehills.

‘Huh?’ I asked everybody in general. ‘Can you specify what point you want me address?’ I feigned alertness. ‘All our Information Technology company audits are taking longer even after your inovative through the computer audit techniques.’ The prospect of my excess of 4000 hours of involvement last year being discounted angered me. ‘From SQL and Oracle to SAP and ERP, I have personally tested last year to save us more than 40% of audit time at each site. If there is a new module perhaps I may have to design but nothing to get worked up.’ I tried to assure them. ‘Simple salary vouching is taking longer by 300%’ spoke the eldest of our partners. ‘Don’t be silly’ I remarked, ‘it is so simple that we assign it to the junior most of the audit team.’

‘Have you heard of the variable element in the salary’ asked one in contempt. In equal icy tones I answered, ‘Dearness allowance is around for donkey’s years and my Audit techniques have accounted for them.’ Realising my ignorance he slid a newspaper across the table and if I was not sitting I would probably have fainted. Now a whole section of salary is variable and that too not standard across the board. It is as per the circular of the management and knowing how (un)clear circulars are, the nightmare was just beginning to get defined. ‘Even the audit team leader cannot audit this simple function correctly and  the signing partner has to personally do that’ complained one equally senior partner. I excused myself asking time to study how overnight the salary definition had turned upside down. The ending note of the meeting was a warning to all through me that though today, only the IT industry has variable salary, tomorrow all shareholders will demand full salary be variable – after all bread and butter is the greatest motivation! So, all our audits are likely to suffer the same drop in efficiency!

I started jotting down. Long ago, bonus was paid if the company made a profit. Then Union negotiations especially in the loss making public sector made bonus a right; not contingent upon profitability. Then came the performance bonus where seniors patted themselves on their back with huge amounts. The definition of ‘performance’ varied and it had no connection with the profitability of the company sometimes. Now, salary itself was largely variable from top to bottom. Hetherto, only the very top had the cream as a variable but now even the juniors had a variable and that too not cream but bread and butter.

Just then the receptionist announced the unsceduled appearance of one senior relative. I had just introduced a suitable boy for matrimonial purposes for his daughter. Perhaps he has come to give me the good news of confirmation and hopefully with some Indian sweets I thought. The issues in the partner’s meeting had increased my acidity. As the senior man came,  instead of a happy disposition I sensed anger. ‘You know I am a retired man’ he began. ‘As a middle class Maharastrian, I wanted my daughter to get married to a man whose income is assured by way of salary and not variable due to business.’ I sat up. It was that dreaded word of the day again – variable. He continued his lament, ‘we were about to announce the engagement on the auspicious day next Wednesday when he told us that he had to take a 50% salary cut due to non expected performance of his company. You had assured us that since he was in the IT sector, it would be raining assured money.’ Whoops, I had introduced a boy from the IT sector and here was a visible impact. I called for a cold drink for the heated man and profousely apologised for being ignorant that salaries are now variable. He left wondering loudly if I was completing annualy my manadatory ‘continuing professional education’(CPE).

As he left, my overtime began. People from all sectors came with their unique problems due to the variable salary concept. After the end of a marathon 48 hour consultation with more than 70 persons, I began summarising the issues to draft common replies to people with common problems.

My old student asked: If sharing of profit is the basis of salary, is there any difference between employee and partner?

System designer of a company asked: What controls can I build in a salary module if neither percentages are standard across the board or even categories nor the determinant? For some, it is increase in turnover while others are linked to profit and more complex are those who are linked to whims of the senior management.

Union leader of Class IV (peons/delivery boys) workers asked: How can my members be held for any performance? All they do is deliver packets and tea/coffee. They have no say in business decisions. So, will it be right to claim that their mere attendance should be determinant for bonus even if the company is under performing?

Just passed CA student asked: Should I go into practise or employment? What is more variable in income terms? Vagaries of practice or performance determined by hundreds of employees?

Association of industries asked: Can you help design Accounting standards which are flexible to permit us to use any which shows better performance?

Crafty Chairman asked: Can you design an accounting policy which shows I have performed well but my juniors have not?

All salaried employees asked: For our Income Tax returns, can we classify our income under business and claim expenses like conveyance, depreciation, carry forward losses etc.?

Marriage website: We are under pressure to have a new classification regardless of  religion or qualification or industry or profession for a category of employed persons with no variable salary. Is there any industry where variable salary is not paid to employees? Is is worthwhile to make such a category for the remaining industry or do you think that all companies will make most salary as variable?

Bank General Manager in charge of credit asked: Till date we were classifying salaried borrowers as low risk. Should we classify them equivalent to businessmen or professionals?

Neighborhood Grocer asked: Should I continue monthly credit to salaried customers or is the variable element in salary also upwards?