Wages for an Honest Rest

‘Being in the first batch of the new syllabus, I could sympathize with some of the spelling error though I must admit they created havoc in Maths but now the economics text book has got its facts awfully wrong’ muttered my son to no-one in particular as he threw down a text book. Being the only other human in the room I assumed I was intended to hear his words and thus asked him the cause of his frustration. He opened his text book and pointed out to the first sentence on a chapter on factors on production which was on ‘Wages’. ‘It is defined wrongly as compensation for work done’ he complained. I was confused. ‘But son, even the Webster and your more familiar Wikipedia will also define it similarly so what ails you so gravely?’ ‘People also get wages to rest at home’ he dropped a bomb. I pondered and started laughing. ‘You call that pension my dear boy and not wage. Besides it is cut during the productive period of the worker.’ I thought I pacified him. Hands on hips he declared that his knowledge on the subject of was not as lame as not to be aware of the concept of pension. ‘Today, India is perhaps the only country which pays wages for an honest rest at home for periods as much as 3 years. So do not tell me that this is the leave period during which the worker gets wages.’ Seeing the puzzled look on my face he slid the paper in front of me which had carried this news in an inside page which I has missed having dismissed it as a mess of red tapism. Here now was a ‘living’ example of a Private sector organization paying salary to 600 employees to sit at home. ‘Should I aim to get employed in such wonderful organizations?’ my son dropped a bomb.

As I read the news I appreciated that even the new school of economics had to be abandoned perhaps to be more rightly replaced by a Modern School of Indian Economics. Since I searched the net and did not find any parallel examples in other countries of a similar action for such volume of employees and such period of time, I had to restrict this new school to the territory of India. As an optimist I would like to view every situation with an eye of opportunity and now I fancied myself in the ‘dream team’ of the new school of Indian Economics. As I mused, I thought it best to jot down a few instances of Indian wages paid for no work done. Believe me, in India there was no dearth of examples in all sectors. However, such category of persons were actually already employed in organsiations for which they received the wages though their labour was in other fields.

1. Every body’s boss: All of us have bosses who get work done through us and other exploited colleagues while taking the credit for themselves. All of us remember the frustration when a Europe tour was gifted to him for a work done by us – his juniors. To add insult to the injury such an action has sanction of all the management schools by calling such hijack of credit as – delegation.

2. Most Government offices in the city: Whenever we needed to meet any person in an emergency, we never could find such identified person at his desk. In fact on a floor of 10,000 square feet there would be perhaps a maximum of one person at his/her desk. Such a person would have a standard answer to any query ‘I do not know anything. I am new here.’

3. Festival days: On days before and after Diwali, persons in departments interfacing with vendors are mysteriously found at their desks not doing any actual work. However they even do the unmentionable of liaison with accounts department to settle the outstanding payments to the vendors who shall feel instant gratification for an action they had shirked on the plea of matter of ‘other department’.

4. Housing Society Watchman: The watchman is never at his post when some visitor has parked in your designated parking place. His plea is that he is at the water pump when the trespass occurred. This situation occurs unless you are elected as Chairman of the Society. So much for democracy where all citizens are equal.

5. Any police complaint (non murder): When you greet the comfortably sitting and gossiping gentlemen you are supposed to feel guilty for spoiling their party, is the look you get, In case you did not get the point, after listening to your précis of the matter, you are asked to ‘settle the matter with the other party/insurance’ which stops at their noting. If you still want to persist in the matter, suddenly the men in uniform become philosophical extolling the virtues of forgiveness and release from material items of this world. Whatever be their method, it all aims at ensuring we do not start any work for them. Ever seen the smug faces when you get convinced by them and leave without escalating the matter?

I am currently building a team to start a website called ‘phukatpagarnaukri.com. I am sure I can sit back and rake in the moolah as there will be many takers. The only catch is that which employer will admit his listing under this website with a name as blatant as this.